I’m in such a bad mood
jesus

I really hate usernames on this site that are more than 2 words long
like “dreamsinhereyes” or “fadedstarlife” or “everyoneisbeautiful” or “youfeelingwoozyyet” like what are you thinking with a stupid ass name like that
like keep it fuckin simple

you dont even follow me, and you’ve never liked/reblogged any poems I’ve written. I’ve never seen your name in my notifications. here’s a little pre-warning for people like this; if you send me some stupid fuckin message like this I’ll probably post it with every intention of making you look like a fucking dumbass.

I wish everybody would leave me alone about “sizing up too fast” like sorry ? I guess?? these are my ears and ill size up at whatever pace I want. yall are losing ur minds about sizing up every week, I’m not gonna fuckin die dude omg

or chartreuse probably

greem drean

humans are bye chance

you were right
my soul genuinely hurts
fuck
can this feeling just settle in the back of my skull and resurface later
I don’t really think I can handle the negative emotional repercussions of my decisions right now

its really hard to just hang out and have a good time with people
everything is fucked up now

chilled w people for the first time since what happened to me tuesday
it was hard
i felt really sad.

sometimes i save stuff from when i hang out with people for the first time, like movie tickets or even candy rappers
just so i can feel it again

god your face is so perfect
i just want to look at you forever and ever

who am i in love with

the smoke burned holes in my corneas
and i could see
everything
finally

this is like 
this is how its supposed to be
im supposed to be this
im not really supposed to be real, but this is how it was meant to happen
i was meant to end it with aidan
im meant to hang out with logan a lot and for him to be my friend, we arent supposed to be mad at/hate each other
im supposed to flinch and have some of my color drain every time i see aidan in the hallway from now on at school
im supposed to get my head shoved into the wall by a tall boy sometimes 
and hes supposed to have someone else hurt him about it
im supposed to have friends like ilse and kayla and bethany and jennifer (and michayla of course but she isnt friends with those people) and jenise and vincent 
and priscilla always
im supposed to cry a lot and break down and get really angry after a while
im supposed to stop biting my nails
im meant to be a little ugly
im meant to have okay grades
im not meant to ever talk to josh again
or aidan
or corey
im not meant to exist because you dont love her anymore